The Last Witch Hunter - The best movie you'll ever hate

The Last Witch Hunter was not received well by most critics. The poor soul of a medium did not even make it to the proverbial slaughterhouse before reviewers butchered the very essence of its existence.

But, despite what my name may imply, you have to try a little hard to get me to hate a movie, even a bad one. And compared to some movies that I do in fact despise to the core, Vin Diesel the movie is not all that bad.​

First I'll point out some of the things that I didn't hate. I did not mind the excessive CGI, I did not think it was distracting. I did not mind the mediocre plot too much. And the acting did not make me want to poke my eyes out in an Oedipus-like fashion (spoiler alert for those who haven't heard this ancient story).

• G.I. Joe: Retaliation - Not pleased
• The Mountain Between Us - With mediocre expectations, I was still let down

The Last Witch Hunter 

Now, to address the title of this edition. If all you care about is a good story, top notch acting (which the movie did more or less have), and reasonable computer effects, then don't watch the movie. But if you prefer to look past those things and look for subtleties in the story and themes, then look no further. There is one thing that kept me, personally, engaged in the story: the concept of immortality and bipolar power dynamics.

As the trailer for the film indicates, Kaulder (Diesel) was cursed with immortality by a witch queen presumably as a punishment for killing her. But what kind of punishment is immortality? How is living forever supposed to suck for Kaulder?

Now some might refer to the extensive record of "immortality based" plots of other movies, TV shows, novels etc., to answer the question. Loneliness, the burden of fighting evil and never getting a rest, constantly having to worry about being exposed, and, probably worst of all, constantly dying mortal loved ones and friends, forcing the protagonist to refrain from forming attachments (which adds to the loneliness); these are all examples that pop to mind.

They are probably overused plot devices and are not the only ones used to add substance to the plot of the movie. There is the female supporting character who betrays her witch friends to fight with the good guys (also indicated by the trailer). And there is the Inception-Matrix-esque cliché of the "if you die in there you die in the real world" nature. Nope, the movie screams no originality.

But there is one more reason for the immortality which had me thinking. (The actual reason is explained in the movie, which I won't spoil). If you've seen other movies, such as The Wolverine (2013), the immortal protagonist is sometimes given a way out. It is perceived as freedom from some kind of prison. And a pattern is followed.

The protagonist becomes mortal for a short while, realizes that it is crucial for him (or her) to remain immortal, and ex-machina his way back to immortality. Why the need for immortality? Because there is always going to be evil lurking in the unknown. Defeat one evil and something worse will come afterward.

So there needs to be something to prevent the worst from happening, to freeze the transit of evil. And the best way to do it is by Cold Warring the heck out of the problem. Applying the Ying and Yang. 

No God and Satan? (the movie doesn't touch on that topic). No problem! All you need is a long lasting, incorruptible good guy, (who is nonetheless vulnerable in his own way, and therefore, exploitable) and a manageable evil whose sole existence is to prevent the worst from replacing it.

Of course, I'm not saying that there were a good and a bad guy during the Cold War, but the threat of nuclear destruction is what prevented nuclear destruction (and other things too, please don't grill me). 

I have a feeling that what might replace the witches will not care very much for them. So the bad guys have something to gain from it too (maybe, not sure).

And I think the movie did a pretty good job at relaying the theme to the audience. It teased the pseudo-plot twist in a decent way. I refrained from thinking about its predictability and decided to focus on the effort to hint at the climax. Significant attention was given for the necessity for the dream world.

The lead up to the final fight (which I must admit was underwhelming), did have me thinking about the importance of power in maintaining order. Our enemies are what give us and take away the drive to defeat them.

Maybe I liked the movie because I don't watch too many like it, so I haven't gotten sick of the repetitiveness. Some claim that there wasn't much witch hunting in the movie, leading them to conclude that it was confused about what it wanted to be.

But that appeals to me somehow. It's like an expensive, well filmed, mid-life crisis. Flawed, vulnerable, much like the characters, with unreached potential. I must say, I appreciate bad movies.

The Last Witch Hunter ultimately falls apart and only musters a D.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation - Not pleased

I am a fan of the original cartoon. The first one is OK for a movie adaptation to me, beside they TOTALLY RUINED Baroness' character.

She's my favorite cartoon female villain; in the cartoon she is cunning, charming, and ruthless.She is both a brave fighter and a master of disguise. In the movie she was portrayed as some poor victim of some nanomites and lover of Duke.

• Hardcore Henry - Interesting idea, puzzling trailer, terrible movie
• Deadpool - Having Fun with the Material

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Glad the 2nd one didn't have her. It's more like a reboot rather than a sequel, most of the casts were changed. While I don't like some characters' portrayal in the first one, I still think they should have kept General Hawk and Scarlett.

Duke died around 15 mins after the movie started. Not much plots were connected beside Zartan became the president. The style off the film also changed, beside the super orbital strike weapon Zeus, there is not much super weapons and super technology like in the first one. Roadblock is cool, Jaye is portrayed well. Flint is OK, and Bruce Wills is Bruce Wills.

The first few battles are cool. Zartan's ambush, Firefly came to the rescue and the best of all, Snake Eyes and Jinx carried Storm Shadow and fight those red ninjas on Himalayas. That scene was really great to watch.

At that point, I thought "WOW this movie really has improved quite a lot." Cobra Commander never mentioned he was Baroness' brother or his relationship with Duke in this movie. Other than that he had a better mask, better suit and better voice than last one. Sadly, Dr. Mindbender didn't show up in this one, either.

I don't get why didn't they rescue Destro, maybe simply because the story writers didn't want Baroness to be involved? But shouldn't they at least carry him away? The next part of the story didn't make too much sense.

I don't remember Jaye was ever a master of disguise like Baroness and Zarana, it's OK to let her to use her beauty kidnap the poker guy, but infiltrate to dance with the President without disguise when the Joes were viewed as enemies? Isn't it stupid?

Also I think it's totally unnecessary, after they suspected he was an impostor, it's easy to figure out the impostor was the master of disguise, Zartan. Just like Storm Shadow figured out easily that Zartan was the one who killed his master after being captured.

Well the climax, the final battle is just HORRIBLE. If it was even decent the movie would certainly be better than the first one. I don't want to talk much about the dialog between the leaders, or shoot the nuclear missiles then abort them all to make it nuclear free.

The battle between the Joes and Cobra was too imbalanced. The Joes smashed the nameless minions easily, and we found out Cobra only had Commander , Zartan and Firefly, only Firefly is a good fighter, and the Joes? Roadblock, Bruce Wills, Jaye, Jinx, Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow(defected) and Flint.

I was worried about this when I saw the cast list, and it happened. Couldn't they let Zarana, some Dreadnoks, the twins or Scrap-Iron in the movies? So it was one sided victory overall, only Roadblock and Firefly put up a good fight.

I don't understand why did Cobra Commander gave the device to Firefly, he got a helicopter to rescue him and Firefly only had a boat.

Firefly is the only cool villain in this movie, and it's quite sad, not sure why didn't he use his firefly bombs in the beginning.

Overall the movie started strongly, but dropped down later, especially in the climax, I will give it 6-6.5/10.

Hardcore Henry - Interesting idea, puzzling trailer, terrible movie

I was puzzled to see execution of a movie that looked like a first person shooter. What a mistake. I left theater after 40 minutes and only regret I have is not walking out earlier.

First and unfortunately positive sign that you're going to watch something bad is opening scene which shows close-ups of gunshot and knife wounds, without any point, just showing how far prognostics went. Sad reminder that single nice shot does not make a movie.

• The Mountain Between Us - With mediocre expectations, I was still let down
• "The Dark Tower" Tries To Be Ambitious, But Fails

Hardcore Henry

Story? Henry is a man who wakes up with super power in secret lab where nice looking female scientist claims to be his wife. Not long after that lab gets attacked by Russian mobster. Henry goes to find out his past and something else we do not understand by killing dozens of enemies...

Movie used the worst of what movie and games have to offer. You do not participate (play) in action, which looks attractive first 10 minutes, until it all goes in the loop. Story is 2nd rate, even for game industry amnesia story.

There definitely is effort put into story-boarding scenes and filming and editing movie shot in such specific way, but there is also big waste of time creating concept that does not work and leaves you with nothing more then a headache.

Characters are bad clichés with bad acting for which you don't care since there is not emotional involvement due to poor story. Even action flicks get boring since there is only one perspective and few WOOOO moments (eg falling down the building from Henry's point of view) can't make up for repetitiveness.

I'm trying to find positive characteristic of HC Henry but cannot see even one. If you're going to see it for action scenes after first excitement you will be bored, and there are plenty of good short action videos on YouTube.

As far as Henry, I didn't stick around long enough to find if nice looking scientist is his real wife, did he find what he was looking for, and who the heck Henry really is. And to be honest I couldn't care less.

Save you're money and precious time and avoid Henry at any price.

The Mountain Between Us - With mediocre expectations, I was still let down

The Mountain Between Us is a film that expects its audience to view a dynamic story of human endurance.

However, this film fails to capture any sense of attachment, or connection. Instead, it portrays a sappy cliché experience of two mismatched individuals placed in dire straits who end up finding "love" among dangers and personal distinctions of their circumstance.

The film starts by introducing Idris Elba and Kate Winslet as desperate individuals who seek to get to their destination; no matter the cost. The irrationality of Winslet's character, and the easily obliged Idris Elba, leaves the viewers rather annoyed. This is the beginning of where the difficultly to empathize with these characters and their perilous situation.

• Deadpool - Having Fun with the Material

The Mountain Between Us

After boarding a small private plane during a severe storm with only the pilot, a dog, Alex (Kate Winslet) and Ben (Idris Elba), naturally things start to go wrong. After crashing into a mountain top in the middle of the Rockies, the pilot is no longer alive and the plane is destroyed, luckily the dog survived.

The two characters face isolation, hunger, dehydration, exhaustion and even a cougar. However, Winslet and Elba work well to manage their roles and turn this banal script into something bearable.

The Mountain Between Us, uses the capturing scenery to its benefit. While the script and plot can be hard to bear, the cinematography creates a spectacular setting. Accompanying the beautiful shots, the score attempts to go in hand to soar through the characters various emotions, however, this is where the success stops. The non-diegetic sound failed to grip the audience, it lacked purpose and failed to play any role of importance in the film.

Winslet is an academy award winning actress, and Elba is very successful in putting on a fantastic performance, however it is not the actors who fail this film, it is the barren script that betrays them. 

The script does not allow any chemistry to flow between the two, and no amounts of forced intimacy can shade that fact. The repetitiveness of the plot was draining, Alex always playing the damsel, and the Dr Ben always the rescuer- this quickly became old and uninteresting.

The direction was poor and unsatisfying. The trailer depicted that throughout the film the audience would be sweating on the edge of their seat, however, the film itself contained at most 3 moments of suspense, followed by a peaceful trek through the snow.

As a result, the supposed time line of 3 weeks, felt more like 2 days, the only indicator otherwise was the sudden disappearance of Winslet's bruising, there was barely any character development, and to accompany this, barely any chemistry growth. This is where it was obvious the director was trying to force romance.

In the last act of the film, the director seemed to focus on whether Ben and Alex would fall in love rather than whether they would survive. Which I guess would placate the romance novel fans, if by this point the film had bothered to forge any kind of connection between the two, other than sob stories, and difficult pasts.

This sudden change in genre leaves the audience rather confused. If there had been signs of chemistry earlier on, then this may have worked, however, the intimate scene felt it was only used to force chemistry and was otherwise it was unnecessary. Unfortunately, because of this, their survival of the 3 weeks in the mountains became extremely dissatisfying.

When the film comes to its conclusion, the plot suddenly slows down and takes more than 25 minutes to try and weave in an ending. This last act is significantly dragged on, cliché and frankly unnecessary. The dog managed to survive, and through the whole journey the 3 experienced, Ben fails to give the dog a name, leaving that specific character as such, to feel unimportant to the story.

Overall, this film is very poor. Kate Winslet and Idris Elba are the saving grace with what they try and achieve with poor scripting. The cinematography leaves the audience in awe, and of course the role of the dog was primarily for an enjoyable hook to drag the viewers away from the lacking story line and boring script. Otherwise the action/drama which suddenly transformed into a sappy romance, was dull and tedious.

The love story in the last 2 acts of the film was frustrating and cliché, and barely enjoyable or satisfying. The film for me is a 4/10. Purely for the gripping dog, the mediocre acting with a poor script, and the beautiful cinematography.

Deadpool - Having Fun with the Material

Deadpool is said to be one of the most impossible material to put up on the big screen this soon. This hero is crass, the content is more vulgar and violent that may not be marketable for the mass. But the studio is smart enough to take risks, staying faithful with its nature and let things go wild.

And as it goes, it's undeniably hilarious and really crazy fun. But for its ambitions of breaking new grounds for the superhero genre, Deadpool however falls short in that case. The tropes are kind of the same, except it's more self-aware and lurid. But this doesn't negate the joy the movie still provides.

• Jungle - The Horrors of the Jungle

Deadpool

It begins with an opening credits that pretty much name calling however typically involves in major superhero films. The movie then cuts establishing what kind of a character Deadpool is; he's cold-blooded with a sense of humor.

It also flashes back to his origin story and how he lost everything after the experiment that is supposed to cure his disease. The main plot is basically a simple revenge story, only filled with the otherworldly craziness and breaking the fourth wall jokes.

And as the story go, it's not that fresh, but it's all about the personality of the hero must shine and it does deliver. He also keeps poking fun at the clichés of the superhero genre and the limitation in the production of the film. It's amusing all and all, and that's pretty much what we wanted to see here.

Then again, it's nothing groundbreaking, but what we wanted to see here is just Deadpool playing around. Putting aside the playful stuff, the romantic subplot is actually kind of endearing. The villain is ought to seem like a stock one, but his petty weakness is what defined him.

The action is pretty fun to watch, which mostly has headshots and decapitations. The CGI isn't always that impressive, but it doesn't keep the action from being watchable, as long as the velocity and clarity are good. The acting is a delight, Ryan Reynolds seems like he's having the time of his life playing this role and that shows in every scene he is in as Deadpool.

Deadpool isn't quite that revolutionary, well maybe for the confidence of major studios making more R rated superheroes like this. As the plot goes, it's all familiar. Then again, the movie is all about the personality and it works delightfully.

People may just brag that this is just Kick-Ass except with higher budget and a more known property and that can be true. The movie doesn't have too much of a novelty, but as it executes your expectations, Deadpool has that passion. And that alone may satisfy comic book fans, anyway.

Jungle - The Horrors of the Jungle

Well this one was a surprise, I went into the film knowing nothing except it takes place in a jungle and based on a true story . I was sceptical when I saw the name Daniel Radcliffe. 

In his Mr Potter days he was a bit wooden, Again in the Woman in Black he was wooden but this worked for the film. There was a glimmer of something in Horns but he never really looked comfortable in front of the camera in any of these films. It always seemed acting was a bit difficult for him and he was just focused on delivering lines.

• The Great Wall - An era of consumption and entertainment

Jungle

His best performance was Swiss Army Man but in that he was dead lol. 

So imagine my surprise when he first appears on screen in "Jungle". Instantly its like a different actor entirely, he looked relaxed comfortable and charismatic. In this he plays Yossi an Israeli on an adventure. This required Radcliffe doing an Israeli accent which again I was worried about. In this case he nails it and it seemed this improved his performance. 

Its Daniels performance here that keeps you connected !! Anyway enough about Daniel. 

The film is not fast paced but it is a horror. Part Psychological but also the real horrors we can find in nature and the wild, the Horrors of the jungle !!!

The Cinematography is brilliant, It looks like its all on location and they picked some beautiful spots to shoot in. There is a lot of beauty to be seen but that beauty can be deceiving as we soon discover. 

While a lot of this film is within these natural surroundings there is a small about of CGI during certain parts of the film to create fantastical moments ( often due to Hallucinogenics etc ). These moments were done with great care and beauty however, there is a bit of art here. 

There are also what I call dream sequences and while they were quirky they also highlighted the psychological moments Yossi was going through. I've never starved but I have gone Nil by mouth a few days due to surgery. Dreaming about food is highly frustrating. 

Now this film may not be for everyone as at times its pacing can be slow as we get to take in the beautiful surroundings. At other times however it can keep you on the edge of your seat with tension !!! Something lacking a lot in many modern films. 

The first half of the film also contains a few twists and turns that will keep you wondering where this is heading.... believe me its only head to bad things, Painful things, gross things, dangerous films and the biggest killer despair !!!!.

Sometimes the scariest things are real and what we have in nature all around us, adventures seem like a good idea but hold that thought...

8 out of 10 for me !

"The Dark Tower" Tries To Be Ambitious, But Fails

"The Dark Tower" is based on the book series of the same name by Stephen King and is a continuation of that series. The movie focuses on the Gunslinger (Idris Elba), who must do battle with the Man In Black (McConaughey) to stop him from destroying the Dark Tower which holds all the universes together and protect a boy Jake from the Man in Black.

I was not excited for this movie at all. The trailers made the movie looks very cheaply made but after seeing this at an advanced screening I have to say it was awful like I was expecting it to be. It also wasn't very good.

The Dark Tower

Idris Elba has and will continue to be a great actor and he proves it with his performance in this movie, arguably being the best of the movie even with the material he's given. Surprisingly, the child actors were serviceable. They didn't suck. I mean I'm not gonna write home about them or anything but they served their purpose and I found them to be decent while watching.

For the first 15-20 minutes of the movie, the movie sets up a really cool premise and story that you are hoping it evolves. This first act kept me invested and interested even if the characters weren't all that great. After this section, things started to go downhill.

I just lost interest in the movie after that. To be honest, it was a pretty boring and uneventful movie. It's just a series of action sequences and a villain with a big bad plan and little to none of the so-called "Dark Tower." My interest waned. It just became something I hoped it wouldn't.

Matt McConaughey is not good in the movie. I will give credit where credit is though because he tried, but it did not work. He is not a good villain. He's just not menacing at all, and the villain was pretty bland. 

This movie is also a very confused movie. Not it's not confusing, but it itself is confused at to what it wants to be. There were times I felt it was trying to be serious, and others where humor dominated the scene and the movie was trying to be campy. That really didn't work all that well either. 

This movie is also really, really short. Without credits, it's 88 minutes (95 minutes with credits). Like....what? It made everything seem really forced and rushed and the movie had no real flow to it.

I am going to give "The Dark Tower" a C-.

Here is my review on YouTube for a further and more in-depth analysis of my review of "The Dark Tower."